I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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