i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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