Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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