I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
