either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
we're so committed to being not committed
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
