i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I think people are normalizing furries
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
