I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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