he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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