Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
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He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
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I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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