the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
