Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
