I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
This girl is more easily done than said...
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
