I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
