i would punch a child for taco bell
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
