someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
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I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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