Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
