whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
