Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
