I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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