And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
