All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
