So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
