how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
