Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
