I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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