Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
