Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
