kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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