Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
