Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
