Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
