hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
