butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Four minutes until I can fart!
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
