shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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