You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
