i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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