i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
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on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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