Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
