There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
