Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
