So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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