Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
