He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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