people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
