1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
