Your dad touched me again.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I see more hoeing in ur future
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