For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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