I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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