we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
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Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
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I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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