Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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