some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
