That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
