She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
