i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
