So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
My vagina just clenched in fear
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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