Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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