I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
we made out on top of his cat.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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