he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
