You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
When are your genitals available?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
