Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
And then the night went full on bisexual.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
