Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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