Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
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