I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
