is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
