you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
splinters make it hard to masturbate
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
